The Woman Behind the Name Lorraine

''I am a caring woman, an African woman, a woman who loves to write, who loves to make food, who loves appreciating art, who loves to learn...I'm a woman who loves to love.''

This is one out of four student features. What stood out to me about Lorraine was the origin of her name. She does not have a "traditional' Setswana name which to some may be confusing. As international students we are taught that Batswana name their children traditional names and that traditional names are important. I absolutely appreciate that tradition but there will always be a story behind someone's name, a story worth appreciating. Lorraine's name is actually a region in France. Her mother traveled there while pregnant and from that experience she decided to name her daughter Lorraine. Now, Lorraine is studying French as her minor. This small bit of her story was captivating and I had to ask more. So I decided to interview her as a feature and I am happy that I did. Here is more about Lorraine.

Tell me more about who you are...Are you the eldest?

photo courtesy of Lorraine

-I am eldest of 4 children. It's myself, Kyla, Joy and Asher. We were all born in Gaborone but I changed schools a lot, my parents were both in University when I'd reached school going age. I stayed with uncles and aunts until the end of Primary School. All my other sibling have lived in the same home for all their lives.

Do you believe in love?

-I do believe in love, with almost all I have. It took a lot of convincing because obviously we grow up with this "Disney Princess" happy ending mentality. We're made to believe that our first love should be our true love but that isn't the case at all in real life. Love takes patience, it takes a lot of faith...love is a lot like life. In love, the main rule is to always be hopeful.  I have had some not so great times in love but I guess I was being tested if to stay or go and I chose the latter because really I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In love there's always a great life lesson. And my greatest life lesson in love was your ability to look beyond being in love with one who is passively in love with you. It taught me a great deal about gratitude and forgiveness and it opened up a true ability to love myself when I have none else to love.

Are you an optimist , a pessimist or indifferent? Etc.

photo courtesy of Lorraine

-I am human, I wish not to be so easily defined. As in, there's a great deal of things that I go through in life. Other times I am bluntly pessimistic about things. This is generally dependent on my current mood. I struggle(d) with depression so on my dark phases I sometimes just tend(ed) to be pessimistic, about almost everything. Although, I will never say that is the kind of person I am. What I'm building towards is to be utterly optimistic but of course sometimes things happen that make you question your ability to be optimistic. I like to tell people that I'm neither optimistic nor pessimistic, I have a flexible realistic personality which allows flexibility between optimism and pessimism and thus far it is fairly regulated too.

What does your mother mean to you? What kind of woman was she?

-My mother is my first best friend, my shrink when I can't afford to pay shrink bills, she is my light. I have not always stayed with my mother but in the rest of life that I was with her she has made me realize so many things about myself. She never snaps, she is probably the most peaceful woman I know but her word is always firm and direct and from it you can always know what you're doing wrong and then she lets you decide how you want to go about it and if you'd like for her to assist or not. In this way she made me grow up with a sense of "I am responsible for my life". Even if I were to move far from home I'd never have to worry about not being able to make proper decisions. I have been making decision, although then I wasn't aware I was, since I was quite young. I have her to thank for this. My mother then, is my everything. She's a peaceful revolutionist, even with domestic issues... but with life in general.

photo courtesy of Lorraine

What kind of woman are you? 

-I am a caring woman, an African woman, a woman who loves to write, who loves to make food, who love appreciating art, who loves to learn...I'm a woman who loves to love.

Also, tell me more about the 500 portraits of Batswana. Please share updates on your status with this project and any additional photos or websites you may have.

-The 500 #portraitsmarathon was inspired mainly by how beautiful Batswana women are and I just sat down one day and started planning. "Hey, what if I showcased the face of Botswana". I had realised on the internet mainly Batswana are misrepresented so I wanted to show that image of diversity. When you Google "Motswana" or "Batswana" the only portraits is those done by tourists and so obviously they only document what appeals to them. I wanted to make people aware that Botswana is not only limited to The Khoi or The Kalanga but there is a whole wide range of other beautiful people, I'm approaching a 100 right and I'm really excited to complete this project. With enough funds I wish to do an exhibition and later publish a photo-book. This is an amazing adventure for me personally, it's allowed me to really step out of my shell. I am such a reserved person but it has allowed me to open up more...make conversation. Good conversations.






Now you see why I had to dig deeper and learn more about Lorraine. She has so much to offer women, writers, her people and the world overall. Good luck with everything and much success sis.

Special Features

Some students speak for themselves, choosing to be different and unique in their own way. The idea of what it means to be true to yourself is ambiguous for we are always growing and changing-evolving. Whom we appear to be on the outside is not always who we are on the inside. What we see on TV is not always reality either. So I took the time out to speak with my peers, learning who they were in spite of the expectations. I am dedicating the upcoming posts to my UB peers who are amazing, unique and colourful people each with their own identity and story.  Hopefully you can appreciate them as much as I have.

Students at the University of Botswana

University of Botswana (UB)

Hey yall!! I'm back with another post. This time I am sharing my fellow UB peers with you as I have been able to meet and mingle with many of them. I also hope that UB students are able to read this post and learn about each other. It's hard knowing every college student when there's 20,000 of them. Thankfully, I manged to grab nine of them and ask a few simple questions.  UB alumni can read this blog as well in order to reflect on their own college days. Were they interested in the same hobbies, did they major in the same subject? etc. etc. Heck, this post could even be used for networking! The point is, I have had the opportunity to converse with some pretty cool people and I want to share that experience. :) Hope you appreciate my peers as much as I have. 

Thuso Sibanda
From this day forth I will know him as the poet with bars.  I had no idea he was such a beautiful poet. I actually learned of his talent during class.  When listening to his poem, I could hear his wittiness and affection through his choice of words and arrangement of metaphors. He's dope and his style reminds me of the spoken word artists back in Philly (Philadelphia).

Anyway, Thuso's name is difficult to translate in English. But it deals with putting your trust into whomever has the name. Thuso was born in 1989 in Muchudi, Botswana where he is from.

His response to additional questions are below.

Area of Study: BIS 240 Information Studies and Linguistics

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Producing Music

What do you like about America?
"I like the sarcasm that African American comedians possess (i.e. Chris Rock, Eddy Griffin)."

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? "Peaceful."

One important detail about this student's story is that he had the option to study overseas but chose to stay in Botswana because it was peaceful and there were no wars. He could feel safe in his home country. He is also graduating this May. So congratulations to him. 

Bongumenzi

(Thank God/Appreciation)

Bongumenzi is a student from Swaziland which is a small country located within South Africa. He was born in 1989. His name can be interpreted as "Thank God" or "Appreciation. 

His responses are below.

Area of Study: Special Education and African Languages

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: 

Reading/writing/watching movies, the TV show Empire. Favorite film is August Rush

What do you like about America?  

"I like you guys' movies and the fact that you can do anything and be anyone. And the multiple nationalities. We don't get to see that here in Africa. "

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana?

"I like the climate, it is very very hot. And the people are open, communicative and they tend to like anyone comming from Southern Africa, mainly Swazi's (smiles)"

Leatile Motlhalamme

      

Leatile is from Orapa, Botswana. He was born in 1994. He is a model and eclectic type of person which I picked up from his unique hair and sense of style. His responses are below.

Area of Study: BAF 200 Finance

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Modelling/Rapping 

What do you like about America?  

"There is always something to do. There are parks, recreational facilities...You can be yourself. There are a whole lot of opportunities. People mind their own business." 

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? 

"They are very decent people. They're friendly. School is free.." 

Jane

Jane is from Satau, Botswana. She was born in 1992 and is a very nice person to talk to. She was really open to answering my questions and having a conversation about my experience at UB (University of Botswana). Her answers are below.

Area of Study: Library Information

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Reading/Watching TV (music shows)

What do you like about America?  "America seems to be a free country. There is freedom there. [Here], having an American friend is considered a good thing."

Jane

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? "Botswana is also a free country. There is peace and the nature and environment are good things..for tourism, national parks..."

Lorraine

Lorraine is not a traditional name but this student was named by her mother who visited Lorraine, France while pregnant.  Lorraine is from Palapye which is located in Central Botswana. Below are her responses to additional questions. 

Area of Study: BA (Psychology (major), French (minor))

Hobby/Campus Involvement: Blogger/Photographer, currently running a five hundred portraits marathon of Batswana.         

                                                 

What do you like about America?: "Home of the free, land of the brave.", this is my favorite quote to describe a nation/land. Also love some American authors, Charles Bukowski, F. Scott Fitzgerald (especially), and Sylvia Plath.

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana?: I like the fact that Botswana is like a blank canvas ready to be painted as we may please. As a nation we have so many things we can still do, glad to be born in this generation that's of Batswana who are driving change. So, I like the people, the general energy and the wildlife.

Karabo (answer) 

Karabo whose Setswana name means Answer was initially shy about being interviewed.  Karabo was born in 1996. She is from Thamaga, Botswana.  Her responses to additional questions are below.

Area of Study: LLB 260 "law"

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Following fashion trends

What do you like about America?  

"There are alot of opportunities there."

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? 

"The people are friendly. It has a calm aura to it."

Ndibapi

Ndibapi (who are they)

Ndibapi has the most unique Setswana name I have ever heard. Her name is a phrase because it is literally a piece of a story. Depending on the order of birth, each child has either the beginning, middle or end of the story. If you want to know the story in its correct order, you must know the lineage from which you come. Amazing.

Anyway, Ndibapi is from Maun and Matenge, Botswana respectively. She was born in 1992. Below, are her responses to additional questions.

Area of Study: LLB 260 "Law"

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Sewing, doing arts and crafts, reading and watching TV

What do you like about America? 

"Selection of their TV shows and the "yes we can sentiment"  pursuit of happiness.

 What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? 

"The food, the general sense of peace and security. Free education and health care" 

Boitshepiso Majwaneng

Boitshepiso is a friend of Ndibapi's. I interviewed them both right before my Setswana class.
Boitshepiso was born in 1989. Her additional responses are below.

Boitshepiso

Area of Study: LLB 260 "law"

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: "singing and chilling with my girls"

What do you like about America?  "The lifestyle and the opportunities there (work). Better chance at getting  job."

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? 

"Social security in all its aspects...health, education, etc. And the culture. "

Tsholofelo (hope)

Tsholofelo, whose name means hope is from Mahaulapye, Botswana. She was born in 1992. See her responses below.

Area of Study: English and African Languages

Hobby/ Campus Involvement: Hanging out with friends

What do you like about America?  

"The culture. Everyone has their own culture and are involved in something. Every family has its own tradition" 

What do you like about Botswana and/or Batswana? 

"I don't know if you've notice this but, there is a sense of belonging. The people are welcoming and nice. The people are your family away from [home]." 



*Jane, Lorraine and Thuso provided their own photos. All other photos were captured on my celly :) 

Poem for Poetry Class

Rosy Red

Wherever she goes

 Men drop to their knees,

 Kissing her toes, pedicuring her feet.

They love her look, her style, her way of speaking.

For she is a woman only captured in their dreams.

This slender body beauty with bouncy red hair is ideal.

Her confidence is a sun that never sets.

 Her beauty is a star women wish upon or at least admire.

 And she speaks with a rose peddled tongue.

Until, it becomes thorned with the truth.
She often pricks her lips licking clean the wounds

Truth be told, like any other woman she has doubts, insecurities too.

This young lady from Cameroon feels like I do.

 In our strengths and our weaknesses, we appear to be the same.

Yet, she is still she and I am still mhe.

Two beautiful synonyms with individual meanings.

Our sisterhood makes us synonymous

University of Botswana OIEP Orientation Day

Botswana Craft

Restaurant and Souvenir Shop
January 16, 2015

So this post is obviously a throwback from when I first arrived in Gaborone, Botswana. I hope you enjoy the pics. I will add as much background knowledge as I can :)

Me and my Zebras

Zebras are protected animals in Botswana. 

Lebo the dancer

Lebo is a 4th year

Kayla in the distance taking photos

Our your guides with their fashionable umbrella

Our last stop was visiting the statues of the 3 chiefs.

The 3 kings were the first to convert to Christianity

They are known as the founders of modern day Botswana

Me, Tori and Juliana

Taking the Bus

15 February, 2015

I caught the bus this morning from Kanye to Gaborone. It was a two hour drive costing me 20 Pula. I decided to take the bus because I wanted to spend more time in the village. I ended up leaving in the morning because it was my first time taking this bus and couldn't afford the bus being delayed or something at night.

The bus ride wasn't so bad. The interior looks similar to a combi with passengers sitting extremely close to each other (unlike in America). Or they would simply stand in the aisle. The bus made stops too. So some people paid 20 Pula and others paid 3 Pula 50 thebe. The money was collected by a man who then gave you a receipt. In the beginning, I blended in with all the other passengers.

Until someone made conversation with me...esh.

The question asked was, "O ya kae?". To which I replied, "hunh"?

The collector repeated his question and I still did not understand. I thought he was asking me "where are you from?" which is "O tswa kae?"

So the guy sitting next to me says,"where to, where are you going?"

 "Oh", I said. "To Gaborone, I am going to Gabs".  My bus mate thinks for a second while paying his fair and then asks me, "you do not speak Setswana?"

 I replied, "Ke ithuta Setswana ko UB" I am learning Setswana at the University of Botswana. "Ke tswa ko America" I am from America. He shared the news with his friend and that was that.

 Then the collector taps me speaking in a tone 2 notches above a whisper,  "America, you are from America?"  I said yes.

 "Okay, in a few minutes I want to talk, I want to talk to  you"

"About what?"

"About what? About what? About love."

Literally laughing out loud, I reply "Valentines Day was yesterday sir."

But he was determined to speak to me.  He went back to the front for a while and at first, I thought he was through with his shenanigans. Then, my bus mate got off and 15 minutes later the bill collector was back  and ready to converse.

Cutting straight to the point, he told me that he loved me. He said the Lord had told him, nearly whispered in his ear that I was the one he should marry. He said he loved me too much to leave me. I'm like "right right" (trying to laugh it off) Then he got serious and sentimental. He said, "I want you to teach me English because I am not educated and do not speak English well. I want you to teach me English and I can teach you Setswana. I want to teach you Setswana. I want to visit America one day and you can show some places".  I got clever and said, "oh, I am engaged and my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate that." He laughed and said, "we will tell him I am your gardener."(sign) Dude would not give up and I was genuinely annoyed because he was overstepping his boundaries and ruining view of donkeys and cattle. What is a girl to do when a man finds out she is American.

Eventually, after asking 100 times for my number, he went to the front of the bus and a woman sat next to me. The guy couldn't propose to me anymore and I just enjoyed the view from my window. I saw churches, cows, people and babies wrapped on their mothers' backs. I imagined what it was like to be a backpacker catching the bus to different countries, trying new food and sleeping in hostiles. I thought about how I got to Botswana. Not just physically, but academically and spiritually. I thought about my family and who I wished could sit on my shoulders and see what I see. I thought about my niece and how she would react to donkeys and goats roaming the streets. I thought about her facial reaction when I asked her to pick up cow dung (poop).  I just daydreamed and was proud of myself for being an explorer.

Motse Lodge

On February 14th, we spent the day at Motse Lodge. Motse lodge is a cultural center where tourist can participate in various activities. Our group rode on a donkey cart, made mud pots, collected cow dung, ate pounded beef with eggs and cheese (it actually tasted like an Egg McMuffin) and milked a goat. This was my first time milking anything. My expectation was to sit on a stool with a bucket on the ground as I pulled the animal's tatas. Instead, I was instructed to squat, pin the goat's hind leg between my thigh and calf so that I could be in control while milking. This was awkward because the goat didn't know me like that. The last thing I wanted to do was offend my fellow female creature. But, I did it anyway and it's harder than I thought. It felt like I was pinching her. 

The milk tasted a little salty

The goat we milked

I had to chase away some baby goats. They were eating the flowers.

Riding the donkey cart and collecting cow dung was so much fun. I feel like us girls bonded the entire ride. I did feel bad for the donkeys though.

On the donkey cart 

Juju with the shades on

I was so happy to take my picture with the donkeys 

Juju taking a selfie

Tori holding a piece of cow dung. 

Heather about to scoop up some cow dung

I made sure to get the wet one 

The last phase of our time at Motse Lodge was to visit the gorge and lake not too far from the center. That was the plan. The plan was not carried out. We got stranded in the woods where we were sized up by monkeys, led by some kids who chose not to speak English and stared at by cows who were grazing near the entry gate. While we waited to be picked up, I told some stories I learned from my professor (adding my own twist), we talked about returning back to the states and just joked around. I personally didn't want to think about my journey home. Life is so fast and complicated in the states. Instead living a simple life, we are racing to be number one, attain material wealth and mark our territory. Therefore, I did not want to think about reentering the fast life just yet. Being here has allowed me to slow down.

A monkey with her baby

The Lake

Kanye

Statue outside of the home 

What can I say? It is impossible to summarize my 2 and a half day experience in Kanye. I can only imagine how advanced I would be in speaking Setswana had I stayed there for a week or two. The people in Kanye are more traditional than those who live in Gabs. Yes there are times when people do not greet you or acknowledge their elders, but for the most part, everyone is kind. Their lifestyle is similar to the country life.


The animals roam free and share the roads with the people. There are donkeys with black, white, grey and tan fur and they are much bigger than Donkey in Shriek. The cows have not been dehorned and their cowbells reach your ears before they reach your sight. The goats are so sweet and child-like. They just walk along the roads and look at you. The dogs are everywhere, jumping up on you to play and be fed. I've never seen so many loose dogs in my life.


The Kgotla is an advisory board led by elders and chiefs who settle civil disputes. They listen to the grievances of both parties then decide which action is best. The entire process follows a traditional format. For example, there is a circle dipping into the floor; it is positioned directly in front of the chief. Whenever someone is heading towards the chief, he or she must walk around the circle and then proceed. To walk through the circle or along its sides would be taking a shortcut and that is unacceptable. Another tradition is the seating procedure. Women are to always sit behind the men in the Kgotla or wait in another location until the hearing is over. Clothing is important too. Men are to wear long pants (not shorts) and long sleeve shirts. They must look presentable. Women are to wear skirts below the knee, long sleeve shirts or a scarf drapped around the shoulders and a hat or scarf to cover their hair.


The man I am photoed with is actually a chief. During our Q&A session he addressed our questions about marriage, polygamy, diviniation healing and so forth. My question was, "Before Christianity, what were the traditional beliefs?" The chief offered his keen insight and then suggested I marry his son. He said he was my father in law now. During the mock Kgotla meeting, he even called me up as his daughter in law. We couldn't stop laughing because from then on, he introduced me to everyone as his daughter in law from America. This man was also an oral poet which I thought was impressive.

He is then pictured with a woman wearing  a brown top and blue scarf. This woman is the sister of a previous chief. Her brother died in 1994 and was the last chief to be burried in the yard. After speaking with her one on one, I learned that her home was a resting place for Nelson Mandela. He passed through Kanye in order to safely reach his next destination. But she was just a little girl then. And now she is loving alone, caring for a house built in 1928. Nana, as she instructed me to call her will be turning 70 in the next couple weeks.

Pictures from the Kgotla 

Kgotla Kgolo Gangwaketse

My Father in Law whose name means "Civil War"

My "Father in Law" shaking hands with a revered elder

The man to my immediate right is the current Chief of Kanye 

Where the chief would sit

The chiefs were buried here

Sister to the last chief buried in 1994 

The traditional wall made by the women

Bonus Photo 

"Tea Girl"

I asked her who does she live with and she replied, "I live with Jesus". 

Mme Ophadile Maboa was my host mother for the weekend. Aside from living with Jesus, she lived alone. Her parents were late and so was her brother. The only sibling still alive was her sister who lived in Gaborone. Mme Ophadile was a small woman with smooth skin and a medium brown complexion. She had brownish eyes with a ring of blue around them. Her hands were little but firm when she grabbed your hand or your chin or your shoulders. She was such a grandma lol. She actually reminded me so much of my own grandmothers. Some time ago, someone shared with me that at one point it was actually the grandmothers who named all of the children. My host mother named me Tebogo which means "Thanks". She said Jehovah has given her so much that when she met me, the name seemed appropriate. She was giving thanks for me.

Living with Mme 

 Before we went home, Mme Ophadile said we would be visiting some relatives who lived in Kanye. Although was tired from visiting the Kgotla, I was still excited about meeting new people. While walking, it was clear that Mme Ophadile knew everyone in the village and everyone knew her. And she definitely knew how to hold a conversation. Naturally, she would speak in Setswana, leaving me to observe and listen. This became a routine. I would greet in Setswana and then go mute as she spoke. When someone asked me a question I understood, I would answer. When they asked me a question I did not understand, I would just smile and nod.  There was one man who stopped and spoke to us along the road. We greeted each other and nothing was suspected until she dropped the beans that I was a "Black American". This man would not be fooled. To him, I was a "pure African, a pure African". I said to him with my usual sense of humor (always to lighten the mood), "my ancestors were pure Africans". He looked at me like I was tricking him all over again. He put one hand on his hip and one on his head and said "esh!!". 

After breaking the news that I was American, we continued on our journey.  Finally, we reached he homes of her relatives. I met cousins, nieces, friends from church, everyone! In one evening, we visited maybe 8 families in 8 different houses in about 5 different sections of the village. We went so far out that we had to catch a taxi back home. Once we arrived, I was amazed at what I saw. Our house was huge. We had so much land. We had a dog named Obama and 9-10 chickens. Waking up to roosters crowing was different because they would crow 4 o'clock in the morning hours before the sun rose.  So I would rise around 5am and start my day. Then I would hear my host mother singing and dancing in the hallway. She was a soprano and member of the church choir. She would sing and communicate in Setswana from sun-up to sunset. 

My host mother only spoke in English when absolutely necessary. Since she was a retired school  teacher and her teaching methods were pretty helpful. She taught me the alphabet, numbers and nouns. She was patient with me but also firm.  Anytime, I addressed or responded to a woman without saying Mme or Mma she was quick to correct me. And I welcomed this because learning/speaking another language requires discipline. Mme Ophadile even restrained her friends and their children from speaking to me in English. And they obeyed her until they needed to ask crucile questions...."You don't speak Setswana? You are a black American? You are not Motswana?" Honestly, I believe Kanye and other rural villages are the only places where the language learning experience can be maximized. In this villages, speaking Setswana is more of a necessity rather than an option. Yes, people speak English but many do not understand English as well as those living in the cities. Also, the people in the villages are more traditional, their behaviourism is different. They speak slower, they greet more often and there is more  of a community vibe. So, when it comes to speaking Setswana,  my confidence and comfort level increased as a result of being in that environment. 

This is my front yard dude

Obama

Including these chickens, we have 9 or 10

On Sunday, February 15th I planned to catch a bus back to Gaborone. My host mother walked me to the bus top which was located at the mall. The morning of my departure, we made a stop at a relative's house. It was nearing 10am and some family members were still asleep. But, the lady of the house was awake, straightening up the living room and listening to the radio. Her name was Nomsa (Gloria) Kgangtsile. Her surname means "the last" which suggested that she was the last born child. I greeted her as I was taught and added Mme/Mma to all  of my responses. She was impressed. Gloria said, "You are a clever girl. You were clever yesterday, you are clever today and must be more and more clever tomorrow:" Then she switched to Setswana and I failed to understand her. I tried repeatedly to pick up familiar words, but I couldn't. I turned to my host mom hoping for an explanation. "Mma?" Without delaying any further, Mma Ophadile said  very gingerly, "She is blessing you". 

Blog Title

This blog is entitled 'Tea Girl' because that is what my host mother called me. We were making tea one night and she called out to me in her high pitch voice "Tea Girl! Tea Girl!" "Ee Mma?" "Come into the sitting area so that you may drink your tea. Come on Tea Girl, I have set a table for you. Bring your bread and come to drink your tea". I couldn't stop myself from laughing. So, I just went into the living room with my tea and there was my mother sitting on the couch chilling lol. She had her hands interlocked behind her head, the television turned to local music videos and her hairnet tossed on the floor revealing her self done plaits. I took my seat and proceeded to ask as much as I could. Then I got a little sad because I was digging for information as I use to do with my own grandmothers. I was hoping to learn as much as I could before our time was up. So I asked and asked and asked. And again and again and again, she called me "Tea Girl". 

Before, we went to sleep, she was admiring my hair and asked me "who plaited your hair". I told her these were not plaits and that I had done them myself. She looked shocked and amazed. " You want to plait me?" she asks. By this time it was nearing 10:30 pm and I suggested we do it tomorrow. We both realized that there wouldn't be enough time to do them tomorrow. So there I sat, doing my mother's hair being reminded of my birth mother and her mother. I remember greasing my own mother scalp and getting the night cap for my grandmother's hair. I took out Mme Ophadile's plaits and parted her hair. She told me that her hair use to be to her shoulders, which it still was. Some sections were just shorter than the others. Anyway, I plaited her hair and she got up to look in the mirror saying "so I just wear it like this?" lol  Initially, she wasn't satisfied. I said, "you don't like it do you" and she frowned her face and said, "It's alright. Come on style it for me my daughter. My daughter, make it look nice".  I  didn't know what to do. I played around for a few minutes and told her "Mma, I don't know what to do to it" and she says, "try something my daughter, anything". She was holding onto high hopes man. lol. But I listened to my moms and I tried something...and it turned out nice. Initially, she wasn't satisfied and now she loved it and I was proud. 

Now that it was time for bed, we said our goodnights in Setswana. 

"Robala sentle Mma" (sleep well)

"Robabla Sentle Tea Girl" 

So the name "Tea Girl" stuck more than Tebogo. I now have a nickname and traditional name from my host mom in Kanye. Hopefully, I can visit her one day and bring her the pictures I am sharing with you all.  Had I been her real daughter or granddaughter, my host mother would have taught me well, making me into a respectful Motswana, proud of her native tongue and culture. But since our lives are not as such, she will be my adopted grandmother who spoke in a native tongue that I longed to understand. Mma Ophadile Maboa will be one of my connections to Setswana tradition and heritage. If you want tradition, the elders are always a good place to start.  Ke a leboga Mme. Sala Sentle Mme.